After reading this article
I remembered a time when I was in wife training. It was a lesson which changed my marriage forever.
The bible says that the wife must submit to her husband. Ephesians 5:33 and today the translations have altered the severity of this statement but it remains one of the most controversial.
The article points out
Admiration – Men want to be desirable to their wives.
Peace and Tranquility —
Acceptance/Participation – He’ll need to brag to someone. He’s hoping that someone is you. Be his biggest fan?
Be able to lead – Ladies, are you allowing your husband to sense your satisfaction in his abilities to lead? If you want him to lead, ask yourself, are you willing to follow if he does?
An emotional release –Most men do not know how to function in a highly emotional context. So, when our wives are upset, we panic. We move into a “fixing” mode, which is usually counter-productive. When you are emotionally upset, for whatever reason, and you know it isn’t his fault, it’s helpful if you can just let him know the two of you are okay, he didn’t necessarily do anything wrong, it’s not his fault and there is nothing he needs to do to fix it.
Ladies, does your husband ever feel responsible for your emotions that are completely out of his control?
The irony is that our modern day list looks alot like the 2700 year old Proverb 31:10-31
10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14 She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
This woman is reminiscent of traditional African women, in every historical book that I have read. Somehow Western women are now appalled by this hardworking woman who takes charge of the affairs of her household, works tirelessly to provide for a man who then gets all the credit. He SITS in peace as an elder, knowing that all the affairs of his household have been resolved. he entrusts everything from the clothes he will wear to a party-to the investments which will be made, all to his wife; and his measure of success was based on the virtue of his wife.
But today western women think it some disgrace to follow this pattern.The enduring legacy of slavery and colonization have robbed African women of the true pride and power that was once their crown. Today this crown is replaced with resentment and anger, because we compare ourselves to other women.
In my personal experience a wife can not communicate with her husband except she submit to him. Meet him on his terms, you are the one with all the ideas, all of the ambition, the drive and determination,
but you cannot move without his nodd of approval. Men are aware of this, so they withhold that nodd if they have been left out of everything else. Many, many christian women seem to keep their husbands in check with the bible. They hold him hostage to values and doctrine, especially if these men are participants in church. These women use the good book to keep their husbands in place, so they never bother to pay attention to their husbands need to feel like an important chief. We have come a long way from a man with several wives, but the task is greater on one wife. You have to almost fulfill the capacity of many women.
Many men DONOT deserve this kind of spiritual woman. She is too valuable, more valuable than rubbies. A woman of this virtue can command the love of any man, because God is her first love. He directs her values, and character so she is not the angry, resentful, gossip, with a lot of idle time on her hands. No, a man who finds a true woman of God is a son of God.